Pain in life

Humans seem rational for a majority of their life time. 

But, everyone knows that we are in fact not that rational and knows that many of our decisions were not very reasonable. 

One of the most strikingly visible examples is our self-destructive orientation. 

While we tend to behave in a very self-centred way to the extent to frustrate others, It is also true that we tend to harm ourselves .. even ceaselessly and irresponsibly. 

Philosophers might say that we have somewhat distorted personalities that contradict to our purposes, biologists might say that that is a process through which humans as a species develop more adaptable natures to our changing surroundings, and therapists might try to help us set up more constructive self-strategies to cope with our own emotional pains. 

However, our behaviours, whether they may be aggressively harming others or inwardly attacking ourselves, come from our desires.. which are not met and not fulfilled through our efforts.  

We all know that some of our desires cannot be realised. 

But such reasoning does not lead us to reach peace of mind, no matter how powerful help we may have recourse to. 

Therefore, many healing literature, music and cultural supports can only work for a limited time. 

Indeed many of the tools are even employed by commercial purposes. 

We live in society that allows us to freely access markets, in which we can buy what satisfy our desires. 

Market participants, whether they are sellers, producers or customers, always try to do their best to increase their values. 

As a result, they always compare themselves with others to assess the value of themselves. 

During the process, they are most likely to lose an ability which is crucial to maintain mental health (or happiness or inner peace).

I think that what we lost is the ability of feeling grateful for who we are, what we have and where we are placed. 

We hear that in order to be really happy we should forgive ourselves, or accept ourselves as they are, or try to love ourselves.. from teachers, therapists, or even advertisements. 

Those things might be important. 

But, I think that the most important thing that we need to learn or train is the ability of feeling gratitude for who we are, what we have and where we are placed. 

If we keep pursuing our desires, we constantly place ourselves in a condition in which we make decisions of losing what we have to earn what we don't have. 

Everything we earn comes at the cost of what we previously had or what we could have had.

In this sense, politics and economics have frequently been used as a poison that numbs people's feelings of gratitude.

In contrast, the feeling of gratitude is one of the most common feelings that we are guided to reach in any established religions or any developed philosophical teachings in history. 

Also, this does not mean that we should stop trying to develop ourselves. Rather, this gives a good reason to concentrate on the present, while not being overwhelmed by fear or anxiety about results of our efforts. 

Although my happiness and my health are heavily influenced by social culture, it would be fundamentally my role to lead my life in a responsible way by trying hard not to lose the ability to feel gratitude, the loss of which I have also been suffering from until now.