About reclusive parts of my life - 2

Obviously accepting one's own weakness is a painful experience. 

However, this also brought me a more meaningful lesson. 

I could learn how important it is to try not to lose control over myself, and, above all, how fundamental joy it brings to my life to understand and forgive myself. 

I believe that all sorts of enlightenment is very personal and largely emotional, thus certainly not easy to deliver to other people in language. I saw many persons tending to try to sell their own enlightenment with a variety of seductive words, or to show off their wisdom to the public. while pursuing repute. 

I have a memory that it was one of my routines when I was younger to read books and try to seek some good phrases. 

But actually I found that it was just symbols that I ultimately sought after, which can authorise my thought or efforts. 

Still, I do not think those authors and lecturers were phonies, though.

On the contrary, I truly believe that they all meant to help people... ,I mean, weak humans. 

Humans seek after something more powerful and more sacrificing at the same time, and something more righteous and more beautiful at the same time, simply put it, something more perfect. 

I think the reason that many people show respect and give honour to so-called classic works is not because they are specially the wisest texts, but rather because they succeeded in winning more authority than others in a certain social context from which the ideas in those books were also not free. 

And I think such a phenomenon is more profoundly because we are weak and want to be protected or supported by power those letters give us.  

I believe that we can confront ourselves without having to rely on such material. 

It might be an important start for true understanding of myself not to depend on those authorities  

It is certainly not easy for us to feel free from any forms of authority in the real world though.   

But, that it is not easy does not mean that it is impossible. 

And it is surely worthwhile because the important things in our life are not in what we can see.